I just need a lot of time to myself.
Varied skill set, work close with Krinkels on his stuff.
Joined on 7/11/11
Posted by Cethic - January 1st, 2016
Just wanna start off by saying wow.
I never thought I would get 600 fans here on Newgrounds, especially with my recent inactivity.
So, I've come to a decision on something I've been thinking about. My Christmas move FLA for this year.
http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/48cb1146a0a795c9ae5e046d93c06caf <- here's an SWF of it
I was so upset because I was afraid all of that time and effort I was putting into it would go to waste, but I've decided I'll be using it for my MD16 movie, since I didn't get it out on MD15.
Even if there's not a schedule MD15, I'll still do my best to get it out on September 22nd.
What else have I been doing though?
Mostly drawing, and actually working on an animation that isn't madness related.
I've also picked up the hobby of doing gun skins for CS:GO.
I've done a few more, but don't have screen shots of them on hand right now.
I've also decided to create another account for all my 18+ content, which you can check out here. http://valavari.newgrounds.com/
Posted by Cethic - December 21st, 2015
You won't be getting the movie I was hammering on you guys for Christmas, because my brother is a selfish piece of shit.
Didn't post anything MD15, thanks for putting up with me being a constant disappointment. Even if he wasn't here, I no longer have the time I need to finish it.
Posted by Cethic - December 15th, 2015
Again, bad internet, might cut out randomly sometimes.
There will be about a 12 second delay, so if you ask me questions they might come out delayed due to me working and due to the streams delay.
Just click yes on the button, there won't be any NSFW this stream.
Thanks to everyone who showed up! I streamed for 8 hours and 15 minutes, got tons of work done, your eyes are my inspiration!
There will be another one tomorrow, so keep your eyes peeled for that!
Posted by Cethic - November 20th, 2015
Below will be the same info as before, if you're interested.
Deadline for parts will be September 1st.
Each part should be at least 30 seconds long.
You should have at least 10 victims in your part.
Stage size must be 640 x 360.
You must include a fade in and fade out or some kind of transition to help with the flow of parts.
30 FPS minimum, 33FPS maximum.
Anything under CS5 I can open, so it's okay if you are not using CS5.
Finally, DO NOT MAKE IT BORING.
I want to see some good coreography, not just one guy walks in with a pistol and kills everyone without a struggle. I wanna see some fighting, cool moves, flips, rolls, having the character use the enviornment. Just make it interesting, don't make something we've all seen before.
Current members are
@P3M (0/1) parts
@Kenamii (1/2) parts
@Djjaner (0/?) parts
@Dudingdarn (0/?) parts
@Vassline (2/2) parts
@Ghost-Kewell (1/1) parts
@lemonpie ( Pending )
Secret Member ;) (2/2) parts
@Seindark (0/?) parts
@Gabrielbarsch (0/?) parts
@bigleostar (0/?) parts
If you have any questions post them below and I will do my best to answer them, I am still accepting members, and if you no longer have time to dedicate to the project or simply don't want to be in it anymore, feel free to abscond! No shame in leaving ^u^
You all probably want some kind of picture in this post so uh...here
Check out my super white skin, it glows outside in the sunlight lol.
Posted by Cethic - October 19th, 2015
I haven't posted a video since June, and it's weird because I've been having the most success of my life (with all these 500+ and growing fans) and the least motivation to do anything. I've been trying to think of a way to make this more shareable, or more relatable and useful, and I think it specifically shouldn't be. I want you to understand me a bit better and I feel like if I try to make this more shareable or relatable I might not get across accurately how I'm feeling. Another thing that's a first for me is I've never gotten so many messages from people being like "You inspire me so much!" "I love your character and your movies!" "I think you're really cool!" and stuff like that, pretty much all of them were "I hope you're okay, you make really cool stuff" as opposed to "Do this thing that I feel you owe me" which is a testimate to how considerate my fans tend to be. So I'm going to do my best to recount this as honestly and clearly as possible and even if that isn't shareable or relatable, at least It'll be accurate.
Right now, I hate myself.
Allow me to give some context, rewinding a bit. Near the end of the year I made a goal to release videos consistently every month in a Newgrounds post that I made, which summarizing it described how I was incredibly stressed. What I didn't realize when I posted this post was, that was a smaller symptom of a problem I have had for a long time. A lot of people say though "Oh well you seem so confident and happy in person! Like how could you hate yourself?" and to clarify that...
I am self confident in terms of my skills, but not in terms of my motivation. So whenever it comes to being motivated enough to do something, I fail, I beat myself up hard about it. And I didn't want to say anything to anyone because no one wants to hear about this because it's not shareable, or fun, and in general I just didn't want to be whiny, but I think it's important to admit to when things aren't good.
Anyways, after this post the next few weeks or so I released Madness Cryofixiation and it did incredibly well, but that type of content is so draining and difficult to make, it was really hard to follow up on it. What it feels like, is like this physical sickness that just pushes me away from even thinking about doing something. It's not a conscious "THIS IS WHY I DON'T WANT TO DO IT" and logic doesn't seem to affect it. Usually what drives me in the past has been hating myself so much that I push through that, even though it makes me feel sick. Which doesn't sound very healthy at all, h a h a.
I think possibly the worst, and maybe part of the root of the issue that I got, is that I don't know what I'm feeling most of the time. I feel incredibly emotionally disconnected like if it's not a really intense feeling I am a black box, I have no clue what's going on in there. It's not me keeping my emotions to myself because I talk about them openly and freely with my friends when I DO feel them, and it's not me burying things deep down because I would want to talk about them. It's just my frickin brain won't tell me what is wrong.
Like most people are able to explain what they are feeling in a given situation but I can only seem to guess what I'm feeling based upon how I act. It's like there's a noise gate on my emotion and unless it's over a certain threshold I can't tell what it is at all.
>Using geeky producer analogy
As it stands right now, deep down, I still hate myself, but the rational part of my brain is getting much better at caring for myself like I would care for another person who was having this kind of problem. This is a fundamental change to my personality so I don't expect it to be quick, and I haven't quite figured it out yet, but I am SLOWLY starting to get myself into a routine of working not based on self hatred. So the more I stress and push myself to work the less work I will get done. It's like quick sand, the more I will struggle to work the more I will sink under.
I want to base my new method of motivation on something I really care about. So now I've got to figure out accurately what I deeply value to know how to motivate myself, and I hope you'll be patient with me while I ramp up to being able to release videos again.
As soon as I am ready I will start releasing videos again, and hopefully that will be more consistently.
Posted by Cethic - October 16th, 2015
Give me your character sprites and I'll make you something. Quickly though, while slots are available!
Hurry up boyos, I'm bored over here.
EDIT: Made more slots for you guys since I need shit to do.